For all that its worth, I thanked God for the life that I have been born in to and the people that I have met, are in my life, and who will be in my life today at mass.

I dont know why there are those who are born into a life of pain…a life of hurt…a hard life…where all they knew or will know is darkness. It wouldnt be fair to simply think that it is all part of a “master plan” or “it is karma” because you forget about the person…that they are still a person who exists outside of the wanna-be-learned reason for why things happen the way they do to people who we think deserve or dont deserve whatever.

I always wondered how my life could have been like if I was someone else like the patient I had today. It hurts to imagine what she went through and what she will go through for having the kind of life she lived. What happened? How did she end up where she ended up? What I am happy about is that she has a support system. Her family is still there…her husband, still there… at least she isnt alone.

Things happen because they do. We are in no position to explain why.

Where am I going with this? Sorry, im tired from my three back2back shifts and im about to knock out.

Night.

Feel sorry for me

I cant breathe. My cold has reached the point where I cant taste anything and blowing my nose does absolutely nothing to clear my sinuses. How am I going to get to sleep? Mouth-breathing ftw. Heres to dry lips and a dry oropharyngeal night, Cold (thats right, I just empowered it).

G’night.

Just finished Day 3 of my Critical Care Program at my employing teaching hospital and my brain is shot. It was a mix of patho review, attention to my hospital’s policies, and other CC skills.

During the last part of the day, they discussed my hospital’s focus on the “human factor.” Believe it or not, I don’t recall that term during my four years  in nursing school but its meaning is relevant to what I usually bring forth in my reflective analysis and what I consider in my practice. To provide quality and safe nursing care, we have to collaborate with other disciplines. However, there will always be a break in communication and that is scary. We take extra steps to ensure that there isn’t a break in communication but there will be off days and circumstances when it will happen. The video that my clinical educator showed was on the Elaine Bromiley case in the UK and this was enough to bring it home. If you don’t already know about the case, you can look up her husband’s commentary video on youtube. Anyway, watching the reenactment made me the more aware of these situations. Here were these professionals who thought this was going to be a routine operation - she’s been in and out and additionally, it is an elective sx. As they continued to try to preform, it almost looked like a challenge to them. Their focus was narrow and even with her desating, it was insane to see that they let it happen for 20mins. By the time they put a trach in, it was too late. It only takes your brain 5 mins to die. It was scary to see. There they were, all experienced and there was a block in communication. They mentioned that the RNs working spoke up but even then, there were no active movement. The hierarchy in the room was probably somethign to consider - trying not to step on each other…but it cost a life. Assertive advocacy is so important, I recognize and I will do my best to do that when I get on the floor. I have 11 more days of theory then I have 6 months of training. I can empathize with the RNs in that case because although I am on the other end, watching the reenactment and wondering why they aren’t already putting in a trach, Idk how I would react if I was in the situation. We just never know but I will work my way to ensuring that I emulate the assertive CC RNs on my unit. I can only get better from here.

Anyway, that’s my two cents. I have laundry to do and readings to finish tonight.

Where my heart lies